oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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