I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize