anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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