dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
