YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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