By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
