Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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