Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
pop tarts are not kleenex
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
