So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
