His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
