winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize