all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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