Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
