I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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