i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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