so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
