there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
