i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
