six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
