im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Screwed.edu
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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