He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
