i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
