Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
