Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
