If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Actions speak louder than pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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