He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
