Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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