like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
