this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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