Apparently you make a good broom.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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