I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I would ride that face into the sunset
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
