I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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