I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
