He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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