I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
