I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
