I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
