Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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