Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's just like the Real World with babies
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
