this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
