I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
