just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
