First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
