He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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