I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
