thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
