Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize