Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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