So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
