you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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