If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
