Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
