used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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