i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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