Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
