Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
