Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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