Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize