I wish my penis had an off switch
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
where are my eyebrows?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
