i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
