Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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