:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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