I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have feelings that need drinking.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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