So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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