Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
