I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
