yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
