I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
