Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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