i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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