if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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