got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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