I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
