I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
