I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
