i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
