So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
