A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
