You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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