this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
