But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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