I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
