This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
